valerie amani

Sex

January 19, 2018January 19, 2018

I couldn’t even really say the word sex out loud until I was 14. Even then it was whispered, or mimed or camouflaged as “banging” or “IT”. Growing up in a semi-conservative African family, sex was one of those things that no one really wanted to acknowledge or talk about. I remember perfectly the awkward […]

2017

January 3, 2017January 3, 2017

I have managed to get my thoughts together, after surviving the agonizing anxiety of the first 2 days of the year. “What are your plans this year? Any resolutions? What do you think needs to change?” Even if (by some supernatural force of nature) I had all these answers I surely wouldn’t be comfortable […]

enough.

December 8, 2016

When will you understandThat you will never be beautiful enough You will never be intelligent enough You will never be adventurous enough You will never Be Enough for the man who does not love you Stop trying to feed someone who starves you You are grinding away your heart, trying to fix something that […]

fading.

October 10, 2016October 10, 2016

At 16. Heartbreak sounded like a thousand buildings crashing down, a tornado, a countless number of sleepless nights and twisted sheets. An unfamiliar pain and tears coming from places you didn’t know could cry At 20. Heartbreak sounded like a car crash, ambulance sirens, a crime scene filled with broken promises, torn love letters and […]

adjustment.

August 10, 2016

My heart is a construction site. It echoes like a drill in my chest Slowly coming apart I sigh deeply Pushing back the tears that have been welling in my eyes for weeks I pace my room Gathering courage to leave it. Everything in here And everything out there Makes me see you I’m frantically […]

home.

July 25, 2016August 28, 2016

Home is not where the heart is The heart is always fleeting So home is always fleeting Home is where you are now Where you find solace for now Where you can be the best version of you now Home is what makes you feel most yourself Exposed yet safe Displaced yet calm Breathe […]

refuge.

July 18, 2016

I’ve been searching for refuge I might as well have been scratching through dustbins overflowing with waste I looked for it in in the walls of churches, in the words of friends, in the beds of lovers, in the pages of books, in the sun, in the moon, in the burnt earth, in my birth home. […]